13 October 2009

Ooooobbbstaclessssss

It seems like my senior year has been riddled with obstacles, one right after the other. Every time I get something done, there's another obstruction waiting, ready for me to trip over. I'm tired. I want to just throw my hands up and say I quit. Why does it seem like everyone else has worked the opposite as me - I've worked my butt off since freshman year and then now it gets down to it and I'm done. I'm tired of working. I want nothing more than to suddenly get really sick or break a bone or something so that I have to take a break. Every assignment is harder than it should be, but in reality I haven't had such easy classes since 9th grade (even with the college classes).

And I don't have any help at home either. For some reason, my mom's ready to quit, too. Her thought process seems to be along the lines of "Okay, I've supported her for the last 17 years, now I'm done." This upcoming month is going to be the most difficult, crucial month of my life. I haven't even begun to prepare for anything. In three weeks I'm flying to New York City to perform monologues that I haven't even begun to memorize. The weekend prior and following to this, I'll be performing a play onstage that I have half-memorized, and can't seem to remember the lazzi's and blocking for. I'm too far in it to give up and quit and go to SCF for the next two years and then transfer out. I don't think I could live with myself.

I don't know how I'm going to overcome these obstacles. I don't know anything.

5 comments:

BECK said...

Cheer up, emo kid. Baby steps, cowpoke. Just remember a very famous quote from a very famous king; it always manages to make me smile.


"After you scrub all the floors in Hyrule, THEN we can talk about mercy! Take him away!"

Unknown said...

No one remembers any of the lazzis that don't involve physical contact or bodily injury, so don't feel too bad about that. You'll do great, don't worry.

(Also you write really well)

e m i l y y said...

I just get mixed up about the stupid f&#$@!*g order. Like I'll be standing around and be like WTF what comes now?!

Omtz said...

Im currently a freshman here at BHS, and I know exactly what you are talking about. I have to balance many things at a time. I have to work in school and out, and also having to babysit. It's great pleasure on my shoulders. Just like your mother my mom is also ready to give up she has told me many times that at the moment that I walk off that stage, she will have her packs bagged and ready to go back to Mexico. It's hard knowing that in just a few years i will be alone. I am ashamed to say that I would be happy with her away. That way I will not be criticized by my own mother. I feel like i never accomplish or succeed enough for her. i knowhow you feel. I just hope that you can understand that you dont need anyone to make yourself happy, and also understand that you dont need to make anyone else happy, you must make your self happy. You can do anything you want an accomplish anything you would like. Any obstacles in your way you can win.

Unknown said...

Kurt Vonnegut
http://iwl.me/s/8ccf5154

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